


Tomb Raider Beyond

by Will_Keaton



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Fic, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Keaton/pseuds/Will_Keaton
Summary: Lara Croft faces raids her greatest tomb.





	Tomb Raider Beyond

Lara Croft was a Tomb Raider. Butt not just any Tomb Raider she was the most good Tomb Raider ever made. N fact she was such a good Tomb Raider that she had Raided every tomb on all of planet Earth.

“I am raided all tombs of earth. “Lara bee-moaned. “Now what will I do for my living?”

At that second the door became open and her butler walked into the room. “Telephone for you mistress Lara.” Her butler said with words. Lara picked up the phoned and listenated.

“Hello Miss Croft.' Lara squeezed the phone like a bottle of ketchup. She know that voice. It was in the possesion of her arch nemesis, the Crypt Conquerer! While she raided tombs for the good of all persons in the worlds the Crypt Conqueror was pure evil hoping to rule over all tombs everyplace.

“What does you need to want you lousy guy?” The Croft speaked.

“You are made of arrogance aren't you deer.” the voice on the phone clackered. “You may have raided all the tombs of earth but there is still one tomb that both of us haven't been to.”

Lara became a shock. “You don't mean?!”

There was a bouncing laugh. “Yes. Whoever is the first person to find the lost tomb that is Atlanta will be the best of everyone!” Then the phone became super quiet.

“The lost city of Atlanta” The Croft made curses. The greatest tomb of all the tombs!

“Excuse me but you were already raided every tomb on earth. Where exactly is the lost city of Atlanta?” Her butler was made of asking.

“Every person learns it when they go to a kindergarden.” Lara exposited. “Many millenia ago there was a magic sword called Excalibur made by Thor, the god of volts. Excalibur was placed inside the Ark of the Covenant and buried under the ocean. Then one day Masamune built a magic city and tunneled under the ocean to find Excalibur and opened the Ark with the mystic pants of Washington. But Excalibur was cursed by the Pharaoh Agamemnon and the city was thrown away. Now the lost city of Atlanta is on Mars.” Lara reflected on this. “If I am to beet the Crypt Conquer I need to get my boobs to mars!”

Lara knowing best way to mars was in africa. So she took skydiving lessons and skydove into the deepest most forested jungle in all of afric.

After much bushwaking and shooting a some gorrillas in the face Lara Croft found the thing that her looking had been for. An ancient Mayan or Aztec pyramid. She walked into the pyramid and had to solve a many puzzle that involved ancient Mayan or Aztec constelation and different types of the cheese. When she solved the puzzle the door opened and Lara Croft walked on insides.

Inside the room was an ancient Mayan or Aztec spaceplane, twelve times more advanced than anything that existence in today. Lara was the get inside and launched off in the space outers.

Lara eventually made it too Mars butt there was problems. She was a Tomb Raider not a spaceplane pilot, so knowing how to land was something she didn't. The Croft was lucky today though because she was able to land her spaceplane without being made of dead. The spaceplane was a wing break off though making Lara stuck on Mars.

The Croft backflipped out of her spaceplane and began trekking herself across the red desert that was martian. A sandy storm came by and blu lots of dirt in Lara's face but she was to much of an archeaologist too stop now.

Eventually Lara made her way over ontop of a big hill and saw it. The lost city of Atlanta was sit in front of her!

Mor problems happened though as Lara walked threw the empty streets of Atlanta she saw they were full of bears. Not normal earth bears but super evil space bears! She pulled out her both guns and unloaded all her ammos into the bears but it didn't enough so Lara used her archaologist powers to karate chop the bears into half.

The Croft knew from years of Tomb Raiding that the least unvaluable treasure was always into the high place so she started to climb the tall tower in citycenter. On her way up she had to push a lot of boxes around and do mirror stuff with light beems.

Finally she was made to top of tall tower. There Lara seed the legendary Excalibur Sword. She began to start walking to it but then she had too make stop. All of suddenly her body was the freeze and didn't move! Then out of the shadows the Crypt Conquereor appaears!

“I have made to shoot you inside the poison of the antarctic jungle spider. It's poison is ten times stronger than titanium.” He made goat. “Now your body is a paralyse and now the legendary Excalibur sword is now mine.”

“Not yet evil guy!” Lara hit him with words. “My arms and legs may be not movers but I can still use my boobs!” So Lara's boobs lunged towards the Crypt Conqueror and punched him to the floor.

With the Crypt Conqueor down Lara's boobs ran to pick up the legend swrod excalibur. It was a sword made of heavy but Lara's boobs were able to elevator it.

“No! You are not possible!” the Crypt Conquerer says.

“”That's where you think!” Then Lara's boobs lifted up the Excalibur and made the cut of the Crypt Conquereor into 17 pieces.

With the world once again safe for democracy Laras boobs used the Ecalibur to fly back to her cool mansion in the England. Now she was not just earths best Tomb Riader but also Mars best Tomb Raider in also.


End file.
